Megan Gaffney and Rebekah Post start Vilomah Community for bereaved Riverina families

Rebekah Post was a mum of one when she fell pregnant a second time, but she raced to the hospital at 35 weeks and three days because she couldn't feel any movement.

"They told me her heart had stopped beating, so I had to deliver Mia as a stillborn in 2019," she said.

"People say it gets easier, but it doesn't. You just learn to live with the grief."

In the aftermath, Ms Post reconnected with an old friend Megan Gaffney who had experienced her own loss about nine years beforehand.

"Ruby passed away immediately after birth in 2010," Mrs Gaffney said.

"She was our first daughter. We have been on to have three others, but she is always part of our family."

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The two women are involved in other charities throughout the Riverina that focus on supporting families with pregnancy and infant loss, but they felt something was missing.

Mrs Gaffney said they saw a missing link where families were requiring support within the first year.

"We got together and created our program called The Vilomah Community to support families for 12 months after they lose their babies," she said.

"Our program assists families with making memories whilst in the hospital, liaising with funeral homes, counselling services and support when returning to work".

"We help those who lose their babies from 16 weeks gestation through to neo-natal death, which is 28 days post-birth," Ms Post added.

"When you are at the hospital, you are faced with so many decisions around autopsies, funeral, burial or cremation and introducing your family to your baby.

"You don't plan or think about what you would do in these circumstances, so that's where we can help and put them in touch with the resources. Especially when it comes to creating those memories with their baby."

The word "Vilomah" means against the natural order, a term claimed by parents who have suffered the loss of a child.

Every day in Australia, six babies are stillborn, and two die within 28 days of birth.

Mrs Gaffney and Ms Post have both lived through all the "firsts" from Christmas to birthdays and anniversaries, and they have understood the grief on a level those who have never experienced pregnancy or infant loss cannot.

It's that lived experience that helps them to know what parents need.

"When it happens to you, you don't know what the options are,' Ms Post said.

"It's an overwhelming time and there are a lot of things going through your head, you have no idea what to do and you just want to be with your baby.

"We have found families are super appreciative of the fact that there is someone there to let them know of the resources available."

The Vilomah Community has a team of counsellors and a dad's group to help parents, and Mrs Gaffney and Ms Post encourage anyone who needs the service to get in touch at vilomahcommunity.com.

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