We need to have difficult conversations about sex, says CSU Wagga's Dr Rachel Hogg, on Welcome to Sex controversy

While some critics have described the book as pornography, Charles Sturt University psychology lecturer Dr Rachel Hogg thinks it's a great educational resource for parents and kids alike.

While the debate around sex education in Australia has focused on what information is appropriate for children at which age, Ms Hogg said it isn't possible to establish concrete rules about education.

"This discussion really comes back to fear on both sides," she said.

"People who are concerned about providing sex education are fearful of what could happen if their kids are not educated, and people who are concerned are concerned about their children being provided with that education - particularly before they're ready.

"I just want to say to parents, with the greatest respect, this book is a gift. Be glad you don't have to explain 69ers to your kids."

IN OTHER NEWS:

Just as some children will express an interest in maths or history at a young age, some children and teens will be curious, and ready to learn about sex earlier than others.

Most confronting for many parents is the fact that pre-school age children often exhibit early signs of sexuality.

Ms Hogg said parents need to stop assuming the ways they learned about sex were the right way. Particularly in older generations, conversations and lessons were often conducted in euphemisms, or embedded with shame and awkwardness.

"I think one of the controversies around this book which I find very intriguing is the reference to anal sex. It's a practice that's come out of the margins into something that is now quite ubiquitous, and viewed very differently by older generations," she said.

"So you have these generational affects, where the people who are writing the curriculum had an incredibly different sexual experience.

Wagga High School Parents and Community Association president Helen Mundy said after leafing through Welcome to Sex, she thought it was a great resource for parents and teachers.

She said she'd like to see copies in high school libraries across the country.

"The way sex education is taught needs to change with changes in society, and society has changed," she said.

"We have our children learning a lot from social media and other sources - that hasn't happened in the past. We need to engage with them, otherwise they're going to see, hear and 'learn' these things in another way.

"It's not something we can shove into the corner. I mean, everyone has sex at some point - isn't it better for us to tell students and children the truth about it?"

The counter argument often mounted by sex education sceptics is these frank discussions encourage - or "groom" - children to participate in sex earlier.

Ms Hogg said this is demonstrably untrue. The more someone is engaged in sex education, the later they are likely to have sex for the first time, and the less like they are to engage in unprotected sex, or other potentially risk behaviours.

She said books like Welcome to Sex can act as an icebreaker, or guide for parents to have difficult conversations about sex.

"There is a general acceptance in society that sex is bad to begin with. It's almost part of sexual lore that your first sexual experiences will be confusing, uncomfortable and awkward," she said.

"What those experiences should not be is dangerous, unsafe, or terrifying, and I suspect there are a lot of people who've had that experience, because even if it was consensual they had no idea what was happening, what was normal, and what questions they should, or shouldn't ask.

"Anal sex is permeating mainstream sexual culture, and the reticence to acknowledge that might be something even happening is holding children back - we're protecting ourselves, not them."

Our journalists work hard to provide local, up-to-date news to the community. This is how you can continue to access our trusted content: