'I lost them both': Dad and son's mental health mission

Rhys Chan and his five-year-old son Lucas Chan have grown matching mullets as part of the Mullets for Mental Health charity drive for the Blackdog Institute, already raising more than $2000.

The 36-year-old will also complete more than 2500-kilometres on his 125cc Honda Grom decked out with rubber duckies and strobe lights for the Little Big Ride.

The seven day motorbike trek will see Mr Chan leave Wagga on Wednesday headed for Echuca in Victoria, to Ballarat and then onto Broken Hill and back to Wagga.

His one wish is to bring smiles to people's faces along the way while delivering a message to communities that talking helps.

Mr Chan lost his father Keith Chan to liver cancer 12 months ago after a long, hard and painful battle undergoing treatment.

In January, he lost his mother Jan Murphy to lung cancer without much of a warning.

"I lost them both - when we were on a holiday, which was supposed to be with mum, I came across this Little Big Ride which is from Ballarat - a regional riders group and they are going from Halls Gap to Broken Hill," Mr Chan said.

"Halls Gap was dad's favourite destination and ironically enough Broken Hill was mum's favourite destination, so I sort of said; 'I've got to do it as a bit of a send-off to them and to get a bit of mental clarity for myself'."

Both parents wanted their loved ones to treat them as though nothing was wrong following their diagnosis' and Mr Chan did as they wished, but it left him unprepared in how he was supposed to process his grief when they did ultimately and tragically pass away.

"I did have a bit of a stage there - a bit of a break down coping with everything and dealing with everyone and it sort of just came about," he said.

"Just realising that with them there was no support for them."

Being the kind of guy to have a beer and talk about the weather, Mr Chan never realised how helpful it was to talk about what he was going through.

"It took a toll on myself and them - it was a push in the right direction to start talking to someone," he said.

"Talking to people does work, it does help.

"I got onto the Mullets for Mental Health to try and raise a bit of funds and raise a bit of awareness as well as to give myself a bit of direction so that I didn't keep spiralling the other way"

Mr Chan said he hadn't identified his poor state at first, or that it was also having an effect on his family.

"Lucas was also getting a bit closed off with me being away with mum and dad - he was close to them when they passed."

Lucus, who said his and his dad's mullets are 'cool', now goes to school telling all his friends about what he and his dad are doing and why.

Awareness is important, as Mr Chan himself struggled to see just how bad of a state he was in mentally.

"At the time I didn't feel like I was going that way, I just thought I was tired, exhausted and then a couple of people were making comments here and there and when I saw that I thought; 'shit, maybe I do need to process the loss and have something to look forward to to try and move on, move forward'," he said.

"It was really just the ride, thinking of the two different destinations."

Mr Chan adoringly said both his mum and dad would probably call him a 'dickhead' if they were here to see what he was doing.

"They would tell me to move on, but I think, dad especially, would love it- he was suffering pretty bad with mental health as well - he was going through a hard patch with his treatment and being told he has three months left to go," he said.

"He said to me he wanted me to treat him just as my dad and like nothing was wrong.

"He's old school, he's a typical bloke; 'it is what it is' sort of thing, trying to push all that aside and pretend like nothing is wrong, when grieving I was trying to convince myself he was fine and then when he passed I was kind of stuck in that mindset.

"There was a lot of guilt almost that was making me sad. Always feeling like I have done more, I should have been there more, I should have helped more and it's a cycle because you think all that and then you think well what could I have done."

If only he could turn back time, Mr Chan would tell himself to talk to someone sooner.

"I was always someone to talk about the weather and have a beer but after actually genuinely talking to a few mates and random people it does just give you a better perspective, it does help and it is worthwhile and I do find it's a lot easier to talk to people you don't know because they're completely impartial," he said.

"I wasn't prepared at all."

To donate to the Mullets for mental Health charity visit; https://www.mulletsformentalhealth.org.au/fundraisers/rhyschan/mulletsformentalhealth2024.

Follow Rhy's ride via his Instagram page titled; 'Mulletschan'.