Jo Koy: The tokenistic Golden Globes choice who completely bombed

That was the message my friend sent regarding Jo Koy's opening monologue for the 2024 Golden Globes.

And he wasn't wrong. It was appalling. And what's more, Koy seemed to know that it was a bomb and just kept trying to dig up. Or at least, make it appear like he was.

"Yo, I got the job 10 days ago and you want a perfect monologue?" he exclaimed to the audience, before adding, "I wrote some of these [jokes] and they're the ones you're laughing at." To put it in perspective, critics have already come out swinging describing the audience response as "stony silence" and "blank stares", so it does call into question whether Koy was responsible for any of the jokes. Simple math says that if he wrote "the ones people were laughing at" and no one was laughing, then the answer is zero.

Sure the audio track has some laughs in it - but the murmured type that is usually an indication that it comes out of politeness. Or, when you have an audience full of people worried if a camera is on them at any given point.

But if you can't write a monologue - or even a joke - that musters more than a polite, pitiful laugh in 10 days, then perhaps you shouldn't have accepted the gig.

And whether Koy's defence that the Globes had a team write the majority of the lines for him was true or not, it does - once again - bring the award's show's relativity into question. Because whether Koy wrote all of the jokes or none of them, the show would have still had someone approving what was being said.

At what point are the Globes going to realise that misogynistic comments are boring and not to mention disrespectful and uncomfortable?

I'm talking about reducing the Barbie film to be about a "plastic doll with big boobies" and suggesting that Barry Keoghan's penis should have a seat of its own at the front of the auditorium because that was the real star of the film Saltburn.

Meanwhile a joke about Oppenheimer needing "another hour" while harmless - although completely unoriginal - was followed up by the quip about the only scientists who "get laid" are the ones who look like Cillian Murphy.

Aside from being distasteful and reductive - an indication that Koy has no idea what he's talking about, even from a content standpoint - the jokes are just not funny.

I would rather someone stand up there, and give a completely deadpan but sincere monologue that had some substance to it, than watch someone who is overconfident in their ability to be funny, absolutely fail at making everyone laugh.

The only thing I can commend the Globes on is hiring the first person of Asian descent to take up the role of host, solo. Representation does matter.

And I just can't help but feel that this milestone should have been taken by someone else. Someone who could have done the job.

Jimmy O. Yang, Margaret Cho and Randall Park all come to mind, not to mention Ali Wong, who was named best female actor in a limited series at this year's event. Sandra Oh, who co-hosted with Andy Samberg in 2019, would have also been a great choice. And those are just a small selection of candidates on a long list of great options.

So why Koy? For an awards show that is forever trying to prove its relevance, it is not just enough to tick a box. It still needs to be a good show, not just a tokenistic gesture that acts as "proof" that only white, male funnymen are the only entertaining choice.