Why you shouldn't criticise your in-laws

Being a monarchist, friends and foes alike rang and texted me to ask what I thought of the interview.

Now, I know it's Lent and all, but sitting through two hours of that turned out to be way too much penance for me.

What I did see of the interview - before I bailed on it - was a reminder of one of the greatest failures of my ministry thus far: persuading newly married couples to avoid any criticism of their new spouse to their family of origin, as well as criticising their family of origin to their new spouse.

I can understand how counterintuitive my advice must appear to newlyweds. Every marriage and family has issues, and who better to share these issues with than your spouse on one hand, and your family of origin on the other?

I found myself cringing a little while watching the royals' interview. Don't get me wrong, I love cringe comedy, but this wasn't comedy. This was, sadly, the in-laws and their own family that they were talking about - and to the whole world.

Under the guise of telling their side of the story about why they chose to step back from being senior working members of the Royal Family, Meghan dropped a few bombshells about issues that had happened during their nearly three years of marriage.

Harry said they wanted to live a more relaxed and independent life, away from the constraints and formalities that come with being a royal.

It seems a paradox to make these claims and then sit down with the most sensationalist interviewer in the world.

Prince Harry must also think that we all have very short memories.

Muse on the fact that he and Meghan did not attempt to walk away from being royals, but rather to be royals on their own terms - including selling merchandise under the brand of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex - and the Queen stopped them. That is a very different story.

I felt particularly sorry for Prince Harry. Nobody in the world could doubt his sincerity when he stated that he did not want history repeating itself, in regards to his late mother Princess Diana.

This being the case, he was unwise to agree to an interview with Oprah.

In 1995, his mother gave a similar interview, the first solo interview the princess had given since her marriage to Prince Charles, to BBC journalist Martin Bashir that similarly rocked the royals and become world news.

Diana's interview did not have its desired outcome of simply explaining her side of the story, but rather the opposite.

Paparazzi interest in her every move was increased, and she died two years later in a tragic road accident while attempting to escape them.

When you criticise your family to your spouse, you always leave out how much you love your family.

Even if you repeat this fact again and again, your spouse cannot feel your relationship with your family and cannot love your family of origin like you do.

With the exception of family, every person we happily hear criticised is someone we don't like very much.

And so, remembering that your family is not your spouse's family, it is understandable that - after your constant criticisms - your spouse starts to dislike your family ... even a lot.

In-laws start saying nasty things because they have been told nasty things, and on good authority, and friendships that were alive are now dead.

It is said the spirits of the dead dwell where their body once lived.

Long after family and in-law relations have been soured, these dead relationships haunt family get-togethers, celebrations and anniversaries, making what should be the happiest events of the year for the family the most toxic.

Don't criticise the in-laws. I think your words are getting back to them. Start saying the nice things.

They just might get back to them too. More slowly, of course.

Twitter: @frbrendanelee