As toilet paper vanishes from supermarket shelves, shoppers are coming up with ingenious alternatives to keep themselves clean in the age of coronavirus.
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Having been unable to find any bog roll in the supermarkets, 75-year old retiree George (who did not want to share his last name) is stocking up on old newspapers for when the going gets tough.
"If I can't find toilet paper, so what? What I used to use before toilet paper was newspaper," George said.
"You cut it up into about six pieces, pin a hole through it, put some string through it, and hang it up on the side of the toilet wall. That's what I was brought up on."
He is not the only one with a clever plan B; Janine Agzarian has signed up to an online toilet paper delivery service Who Gives A Crap, which uses half of its profits to build toilets in third world countries.
The website also sends out digital alerts, informing her whenever supplies of toilet paper become available.
On the rare occasion she manages to find toilet paper in the actual supermarket, she is forced to wrestle with a deep sense of embarrassment when she brings it to the counter.
"I felt really bad when I bought it because I thought I'd be seen as an absolute nutter," Ms Agzarian said.
"I just want to get toilet paper because we needed it."
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She has noticed many other items vanishing from store shelves as coronavirus fear grips the city.
"I find it ironic that when you look at the aisles all the white rice is gone but the brown rice is still there. All the healthy stuff is still there," Ms Agzarian said.
Michelle Wisely is counting her lucky stars that she stocked up on toilet paper well before the coronavirus pandemic went into overdrive.
"Luckily I always stock up three packets of rolls. Fortunately I did stock up just before the coronavirus outbreak hit," Mrs Wisely said.
"It's all a bit ridiculous, isn't it?"
Those suffering acute, cold, flu-like symptoms who have recently returned from travelling or are a contact of a confirmed case are urged to be tested for the virus. To do this, call HealthDirect on 1800 0222 222 to be triaged and advised by a nurse over the phone. Alternatively, contact your GP to book an appointment and let them know in advance if you have symptoms - these might include fever, cough, runny nose or shortness of breath.
Kenji Sato
Kenji Sato is a handsome journalist at The Daily Advertiser who enjoys writing flattering bios about himself in the third person. He can be contacted by email at kenji.sato@dailyadvertiser.com.au or by mobile on 0448 927 612.
Kenji Sato is a handsome journalist at The Daily Advertiser who enjoys writing flattering bios about himself in the third person. He can be contacted by email at kenji.sato@dailyadvertiser.com.au or by mobile on 0448 927 612.
