STORM

Played 13, 24 points

Death, taxes, and the Melbourne Storm sitting pretty on top of the ladder after Origin. Their continued excellence is so consistent it's probably taken for granted. Even without Billy Slater and Cooper Cronk they keep unearthing gems like Cameron Munster, and groom fringe players into filling their role perfectly. Their average of just over 12 points conceded per game is easily the best in the league, and defence wins premierships.

If the Storm were an actor, they'd be: Denzel Washington - hardly ever produces a stinker and the difference between their best and worst is small.

Prediction: First

RABBITOHS

Played 14, 20 points

Have hit a bump in the road with three straight losses (before Thursday's clash with the Tigers) but are well placed to make a run once Dane Gagai and Damien Cook's Origin commitments are behind them. Will miss Sam Burgess (shoulder) more than Anthony Seibold probably misses Redfern right now, but have the quality to cover.

If the Rabbitohs were an actor, they'd be: Russell Crowe - who else? Haven't done too much of late but once they get it together, it will be eminently watchable.

Prediction: Fourth

ROOSTERS

Played 13, 20 points

Have one big headache (literally) in star five eighth Luke Keary's health as he battles concussion. Then there's Latrell Mitchell, who went missing faster than the cast of Wolf's Creek in Origin Two. But remember, they won last year's grand final with Cooper Cronk playing in a dinner suit with a busted wing, and James Tedesco is a freak.

If the Roosters were an actor, they'd be: Ryan Gosling. Plenty hate them because of their star power and how easy on the eye they are to watch, but you have to concede they have talent.

Prediction: Second

RAIDERS

Played 14, 18 points

Have more English talent at their disposal than the Mother Country's world cup cricket team, which isn't too hard. John Bateman is tougher than a two-dollar steak and has helped give Canberra the gritty edge they'd been lacking. Their defence, once a laughing stock, is now the only green thing feared more than the Incredible Hulk.

If the Raiders were an actor, they'd be: Will Ferrell. Always wary of taking them too seriously but starting to build a back catalogue too impressive to ignore.

Prediction: Third

KNIGHTS

Played 13, 16 points

Mitchell Pearce has transformed from whipping boy to boy wonder. Kalyn Ponga is doing things that make David Copperfield's jaw drop in amazement. But their last-start effort against the Storm showed they still have a way to go to match it with the big boys.

Prediction: Sixth

If the Knights were an actor, they'd be: Gary Busey. Capable of doing some good things and on their best day will scare the living daylights out of you, but not on the A-list yet.

SEA EAGLES

Played 14, 16 points

Their list copped more criticism than Israel Folau's GoFundMe account before the season began and, much like Izzy, been told several times to just shut it down and move to Perth. But despite being without Daly Cherry-Evans and Jake Trbojevic for long periods they've overachieved more than the school's chess champion taking out the prom queen.

Prediction: Seventh

If the Sea Eagles were an actor, they'd be: Lindsay Lohan. Looks like a car crash from the outside looking in, but somehow overcome their shortcomings to keep producing some solid stuff.

SHARKS

Played 13, 16 points

Easier to hate than a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door early on a Sunday morning after a massive night out. But after enduring an injury toll that would befit an episode of Game of Thrones, they've still managed to stay in the top eight. Now the cavalry has returned, everyone is looking over their shoulders.

If the Sharks were an actor, they'd be: Hugh Grant. Everyone pretty much hates them and wants them to go away, but you have to be impressed by their consistent quality output.

Prediction: Fifth

EELS

Played 14, 14 points

The quintessential box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get. One week they're the best football team you've ever seen, the next you wouldn't want to back them with your worst enemy's money. Have plenty of talent but not the maturity or consistency to make a sustained September run.

If the Eels were an actor, they'd be: Charlie Sheen. The roller coaster is super fun and unpredictable to watch, but doesn't stay on track for long enough.

Prediction: Eighth

Tigers - Played 13, 14 points

If you were in a long coma and woke up after a few years, you'd think not much time had elapsed with Benji Marshall and Robbie Farah back wearing the no.6 and no.9 jerseys. Show glimpses of what they were in years gone by and Michael McGuire has toughened them up, but making top eight would be an achievement.

If the Tigers were an actor, they'd be: Anyone who dines out on a blockbuster TV show, then reinvents themselves ten years later when the roles dry up. Still got the talent, but it's just not quite the same.

Prediction: Ninth

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