Last week, Wagga was privileged to host a special and timely event at the Civic Theatre: Ray Martin's My Story, Our Story, which brought together a panel to discuss domestic violence.
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Domestic violence against women is one side of the bigger picture of violence against women, the other side being public violence.
Last week, for example, began with the brutal murder of another woman in a Melbourne park. Four women have been killed in public murders in Melbourne in less than a year. The murders of Eurydice Dixon, Aya Maasarwe, Natalina Angok and Courtney Herron show that this aspect also needs urgent attention.
However, this week my focus will be on the domestic form of violence against women, for in comparison, 20 women have been killed in domestic violence incidents this year, and countless more have suffered non-lethal violence.
Let's begin by setting the statistical scene. Recently, there were 34 police call-outs to domestic violence incidents in Wagga in one weekend alone, and presumably many more unreported ones.
A Wagga survey showed that 1 in 4 believe men should have a dominant role in a relationship, and 1 in 25 believe there are circumstances where domestic violence is justified.
Mr Martin's account of domestic violence in his family brought to mind my own story, which in some ways is similar to his. I too witnessed my father's violence towards my mother, and was myself a frequent victim of his angrily wielded belt.
My family's story differed from Ray's though in that Mum was unable to up sticks and take herself and us kids away from this brutality because, as she plaintively said, "Where would we go? I have no money".
Somehow we survived, as thousands of others have done, with goodness knows what psychological scars, and after Dad's death Mum had a brief but happy second marriage before her own untimely passing.
I share this story for the same reason that Mr Martin shared his - to draw attention to a widespread social problem that is urgently in need of a solution, and this column is my way of doing what Mr Martin is doing on a national scale.
Violence against women is more easily accepted in societies where men and women are not equal.
Now to what causes domestic violence. The first reason that comes to mind is a culture of "toxic masculinity", which Wikipedia defines as: "Traditional stereotypes of men as being socially dominant, along with related traits such as misogyny and homophobia, which can be considered toxic due in part to their promotion of violence, including sexual assault and domestic violence".
However, we need to dig for a deeper understanding than such generalisations provide. Indeed, White Ribbon Australia research showed that domestic violence is the outcome of a number of factors.
Primarily men's violence is the result of gender norms and inequality. Sometimes men feel pressure to be dominant and in control. Some people believe men must be strong and powerful. These characteristics are called gender norms.
Men often have more power and a higher status than women. We see this in private and public life: in the home, workplace and community. This imbalance is known as gender inequality.
Violence against women is more easily accepted in societies where men and women are not equal.
The drivers of men's violence against women include gender norms; accepting and sometimes approving of men's violence against women; men controlling decision-making; limits to women's independence in public and private life; and interactions between men that are aggressive and disrespectful towards women.
Other contributors to men's violence against women can be considered to be reinforcing factors that, while not a direct cause of men's violence against women, increase its likelihood and severity.
Reinforcing factors include traditional discrimination favouring men over women, and experience of and exposure to violence, such as experienced in movies, for example. Other reinforcing factors include alcohol and substance use; some cultural and religious practices; lack of knowledge of Australian laws; and the loss of traditional family and community support systems.
Let's note, though, that only some men use violence against women.
Most men think that violence against women is never acceptable. We should also note that men are also victims of violence. However, most of the time men and boys are victims of violence by other men.
