YOU know when someone thinks they know you, but they don't really know you at all?
Facebook thinks it knows you.
Suddenly this subhead is popping up everywhere on my feed: Similar posts you've interacted with.
Last week it presented a post from Rottweiler Today.
It was a video clip of a kitten showing a rottweiler who was boss.
Annoyingly, I had to see this through until the end to make sure the Rottweiler offsider remained an unbitten kitten.
Frustratingly, I guess, I'd then interacted with Rottweiler Today ... tonight.
However, the post didn't look like anything I'd interacted with on Facebook in the past.
While I love labradoodles and dogs in general, I rarely engage with dog videos on Facebook.
Elephants videos, on the other hand, are a different story.
I never tire of seeing a herd of elephants save an elephant calf who has slipped into a watering hole.
It's all sorts of awkward to extract an elephant from the drink, yet with team work, it's entirely possible.
Elephant aunts are the best in my viewing experience!
I never tire of seeing a herd of elephants save an elephant calf who has slipped into a watering hole. It's all sorts of awkward to extract an elephant from the drink, yet with team work, it's entirely possible. Elephant aunts are the best in my viewing experience!
This week Facebook offered me the chance to stop and smell the roses, virtually-speaking.
Under Similar posts you've interacted with, up sprang the Beauty of Flowers and Nature page.
The one-minute long video of a mountain-top back yard, studded with flowers and garish garden gnomes, had attracted 11,000 comments, 114,000 shares and 328,000 reactions, though none from me.
Flowers are all well and good, but they need to be either edible or produce food, or both, to stand a chance of getting a start in my garden.
If Facebook was smart, it would already know this.
MORE MATERIAL GIRL:
Then out of left field under Similar posts you've interacted with, up came The LaBrant Family video titled This is why I love being a dad featuring a fully choreographed dad and daughter dance.
This dancing duo was slick but these people look like no one I know; nor ever likely to know.
Still, I can't help but Google: Who the heck is The LaBrant Family (other than an American family who uses UPPER CASE willy-nilly)!?
Cole, who is of White ethnicity, has five siblings - four brothers and one sister, whose name Lily LaBrant. His brothers' names are Jack LaBrant, Tate LaBrant, Luke LaBrant, and Cole LaBrant. Ken and Sheri, together with their children, are all active on the social media and are popularly known as The LaBrant Family.
I tiptoe sneakily past that video post, hoping Facebook won't get a read on my virtual footprint.
Instead I turn to the Notepad app on my work computer to rid some copy of its foreign characters.
It's a handy feature, however, lately the laptop is trying to offer me more.
How else can I help?
Put a dentist appointment on my calendar for tomorrow?
What's the weather like?
Actually, I'm not due to see my dentist for another four months.
And my go-to women for weather updates are Jane Bunn and Siri.
My eight-year-old has a tenuous relationship with Siri.
Last week she could not get to the bottom of something basic.
Daughter to Siri: When isHouse Ruleson TV?
Siri: I found this on the web.
Daughter to Siri: Hmmph!When isHouse Ruleson TV?
Siri: I found this on the web.
Daughter to Siri: Siri, you'reactuallyno help at all!!
Siri to daughter: FINE, STOP SQUEEZING ME!
The more our devices know about us, the less help they are.
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