David Barnhill isn't one to mince words. He was "shitting himself".
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
Then 21, Barnhill sat nervously on the interchange bench as a superstar-laden Canberra Raiders side played Penrith in the 1990 grand final at a packed Sydney Football Stadium.
Up 18-10, the Green Machine were five minutes away from defending their maiden premiership when Barnhill's number was called.
He had already played a full game in the reserve grade decider that day, where the Broncos beat the Raiders 14-6.
"I was shitting myself, to be honest," Barnhill said at the Wagga pub he owns, the William Farrer Hotel, this week.
"We had a team of superstars and I was playing with a lot of blokes who were calming influences and looked after me really well.
"I didn't think I'd get on but when Tim (Sheens, coach) tapped me on the shoulder and said 'you're on', it was a buzz.
"The game was basically won at that stage, I had a chance to do a lap of honour and get a (premiership) medal.
"The celebrations were pretty big, we had a big greeting back at the airport. It was good times."
When Barnhill first moved to Canberra, grand final glory wasn't his main priority. He left for the nation's capital to study teaching, but football eventually took over.
He planned to stay at the Raiders for his entire career but when the club was found to be in breach of the salary cap when they won the 1990 title contracts for the following season, including Barnhill's were made null and void.
Barnhill had been made a strong offer by St George, but still planned to stay at Canberra for less money before Sheens gave him his blessing to sign with the Dragons.
"We had to re-negotiate deals and and the money wasn't there," Barnhill recalls.
"I was going to stay for not much for Tim said 'listen, you've got a good offer and you should go'.
"When I told him what I'd been offered he said to take it, it made my decision easy.
"I'm probably forever indebted to him, I've thanked Sheensy face to face several times.
"It was hard (to leave) but that's life, it game to the chance to open a door at St George.
"I left Wagga to go to Canberra for university, football was secondary but ended up being my main reason to be there."
Barnhill's premiership teammate, Steve Walters, said it was tough to watch good clubmen like Barnhill leave.
"We had to lose a few guys who gave us depth like Barney," he said.
"They certainly didn't want to lose guys like that. I remember 'Sheensy' saying he wished we could keep them, but with financial constraints you can't.
"He was a skillful and tough bugger. When he was younger he had a bit of flair when he first came into grade, as well as enjoying the physical side of things."
As I speak to Barnhill at the pub he's built into one of the city's favourite watering holes for 18 years, he's almost unrecognisable without the signature black and white head tape he'd strap around his bald head for 209 NRL games, 28 English Super League games, nine Origins and four Tests for Ireland at the 2000 World Cup.
His trademark Darren Lockyer-esque raspy voice which sounds like he gargels gravel, the permanent result of a knock in a tackle, remains.
Barnhill, who turns 50 in June, was a no-nonsense player. No rubbish in him. A gentlemen of few words off the field, but a hard man on it. What little came out of his mouth, he backed up with actions.
He would end his career as one of the 'nearly men' of the game. He featured in four more grand finals but was on the losing side in all - Canberra in 1991, the Dragons in 1992, 1993 and 1996.
"I don't lose any sleep over those grand finals, it's just good to make them," he said.
"We came up against some good sides. In 1992-93 Brisbane had much better sides than us on paper, we were very well coached but they were too good.
"1996 was probably our best opportunity, but Manly knocked us off that day."
When Barnhill first moved to Sydney he taught health and physical education for two days before football took over for good.
It proved to be a wise call as State of Origin would soon come knocking for the back rower. Little did he know, it was a stage where he'd find infamy in the most unexpected fashion.
THE 'MELBOURNE MELEE'
Every year around Origin time, the mobile phones of Barnhill and Maroons adversary Billy Moore light up like Christmas trees.
Both men know what's coming most times. Yet another scribe asking them to recount the tale of their misdirected haymakers which gave the art of pugilism a bigger black eye then either could inflict.
It's a story both could tell on autopilot, but one which has bonded them as mates.
Word had already got out before the game. A 'stink' was coming.
The Maroons knew it. The Blues too. It was more inevitable than most of the packed Melbourne Cricket Ground ground being able to decipher catching a bomb from a mark.
In the first game of the series three weeks earlier, Billy Moore had screamed his now iconic 'Queenslander!' chant as the Maroons exited the Sydney Football Stadium tunnel for the second half.
Undermanned due to the Super League war, Queensland shocked the superstar Blues 2-0 in the only tryless game in Origin history.
Fed-up Blues coach Phil 'Gus' Gould decided he'd have none of it. At a pre-game team meeting, he told his troops if anyone screamed 'Queenslander!' again, punches would be thrown.
Maroons coach Paul 'Fatty' Vautin got wind of this from someone he knew in Blues camp, and soon relayed this to his troops.
"So, who's going to say it?," Fatty asked. Seventeen hands shot up.
According to Billy Moore, this is how the 'Melbourne melee' unfolded, and became entrenched in Origin history.
Queensland found touch five minutes into the game and as the Maroons forwards walked to the scrum, hooker Wayne Bartrim glanced at prop Gavin Allen and asked "What do ya reckon?"
Allen grins and replies "no worries bud, get it started."
Bartim screams "Queenslander!". The Blues are true to their word as spotfires erupt everywhere.
In what Moore describes as the "heavyweight battle", Allen and Paul Harragon square off. Manly teammates Danny Moore and John Hopoate, too.
But Barnhill and Moore's scuffle would be more at home well down the undercard.
"They've come from everywhere like it was a dress rehearsal," Channel Nine commentator Ray Warren bellowed.
"Have a look at them throw them! Barnhill's let three go, and he still hasn't found the mark!"
Like a game of football musical chairs, Barnhill and Moore were initially left without a sparring partner.
"Barney's looking for someone to have a crack at, we looked at each other and said 'let's dance'," Moore said.
"I threw a hundred passes and they all missed. It was a completely balanced fight because we both did.
"We broke away from the main group and we kept going for a couple of minutes. We fell over the sponsorship signing in front of the Great Southern Stand, and they were loving it.
"We started giving each other wedgies, I pulled the pants up his arse so high and he's done the same to me.
Referee Eddie Ward brought the players together to start remonstrating, before he realised Moore and Barnhill were still going hammer and tong.
"He could hear the crowd still rumbling, he looked across and saw us carrying on like pork chops.
"He came over and blew up, but you'd never seen two happier blokes that it was over.
"I let Barney go, and he hit me. I always say the moral is never trust a New South Welshman."
Barnhill is typically less animated than renowned larrikin Moore when asked about the fight, but is comfortable enough with his place in Origin folklore.
"Every year it comes up on TV footage and the phone rings plenty of times, it's all good marketing," he said.
"Billy and I talk often and have a laugh about it. It's a bit of fun.
"There was talk of it happening. Luckily Billy couldn't fight and neither could I, we chose well."
The Maroons won that series 3-0, but was part of the victorious Blues team of 1994.
Barnhill grew accustomed to playing alongside household names at the Raiders, Dragons and finally the Roosters, so Origin was nothing new.
"I was only a steady player but I was very lucky to get picked a few times in some great teams," Barnhill said.
"Running out in front of a full house was great. It was special times to play those games."
Moore said it was a shot in the arm for rugby league in Melbourne.
"I always say there was 90,000 there and they cheered for three things - when we ran out, when someone caught a bomb because they could relate to that, and they cheered during the fight.
"The rest of the time they sat there thinking 'what the hell is going on?'"
NRL IN WAGGA
Barnhill played 40 games for the Raiders from 1989 to 1991, and is the official ambassador for next Saturday's Canberra-Penrith NRL clash at Equex Centre.
The Raiders will also move a home game to Wagga next year and a sellout crowd of around 10,000 is expected.
Barnhill will blow the Viking Horn for the Viking Clap, the first time the now famous pre-game crowd ritual has been performed outside Canberra.
He was at the Roosters when they played Gold Coast in the city's sole NRL game in 1998, but was sidelined with injury.
"I had a broken arm and it was disappointing (not to play in my home town), but I got to play a game in Griffith for the Roosters against St George," Barnhill said.
"I think when they (NRL) see what was good job we're doing and a big crowd, we'll end up with a game going forward (long term).
"It's going to be massive for the community and the game will be a sell out.
"Country people will travel for miles to see a decent game of football."
Moore said a regular NRL presence in Wagga would be a massive factor in its battle for Riverina bragging rights with the AFL.
"It's an area also really heavily into AFL, so to get an NRL game there just give a big publicity boost for rugby league," Moore said.
"You've got to take those games to those region because the kids think it's like the circus coming to town, they're the ones who remember it.
"Up here on the Sunshine Coast (where Moore lives) we had 12,000 (for the region's first NRL game between Souths and the Warriors this year).
"Going to the bush is a good thing, it can do with as much (NRL) exposure as possible."
BARNHILL'S LEGACY
Barnhill played with legends like Ricky Stuart, Laurie Daley and Steve Walters at the Raiders. Gorden Tallis, Ricky Walford and Mark Coyne at the Dragons. Brad Fittler, Adrian Lam and Luke Ricketson at the Roosters.
He was a dependable warrior which every team needs, no matter how many stars they have, to glue it all together.
"Coaches love certain types of players and he's one of them, a 7.5 out of ten every week," Moore said.
"Coach know what they'll get from him, and can build around it. He was well respected by his teammates and opponents like myself.
"I love it when people say what they're going to do and back it up, there was no shit in him.
"I guarantee all those star players would look at a David Barnhill and say thank god he was there, because would do all the dirty work and clean up a lot."