Agony Aunt answers your questions, October 17, 2015

I always thought I was intuitive and aware, but I seriously had no idea.

I have pressed him for “why” but he offers very little, saying he was “angry” with me at the time (but does not remember why).

He hopes I won’t “throw away” our great marriage for mistakes he has made.

He claims to love me and to feel sorry he has hurt me.

I have started seeing a counsellor but he will not go.

We are approaching retirement age, so neither of us has a lot of time to rebuild a life with someone else.

Do I run?

Or do I try to leave this in the past and stay?

If I were younger, I would have left, but our age and finances cause me to consider the practical side of this.

What do you think I should do? 

I DO not want to diminish or minimise the effect of finding out that your husband has been unfaithful, but I falter when I think of the time that has elapsed.

I’m not sure how you found out either, and that could be significant.

Did he confess or did you find out by other methods?

If he has told you, well that takes some guts.

If he hasn’t, I wonder at the agenda of the person that has.   

Once again I’m not making excuses for him but sometimes in life mistakes are made, it is what you do with those mistakes that defines you.

Has he earned a place in your forgiveness is the real question?  

Ten years is a long time.

Is it long enough?

NOT trying to diminish his actions but was a bloody long time ago.