Holly Mack on front foot to reduce stepfamily stigma

At three weeks before her 13^th birthday, she is taking a hands-on approach to reducing the negative stigma associated with stepfamilies.

The Mater Dei student created a poster paying tribute to the man she calls Dad – Joe Mack – for National Stepfamily Awareness Day, which is on Saturday, July 25.

“I would like to say thanks to my dad for being an awesome dad, the first dad I knew, and for being my inspiration for the poster. Thank you, Dad,” Holly said.

The Macks, who live in Mangoplah, are an example of a successful stepfamily, but, like any family, there’s a lot of ups and downs.

“For seven years we just had Mum, then all of a sudden we had a dad, so it was kind of hard to adjust at the start,” Holly said.

Holly’s mother, Melinda, successfully battled breast cancer while being a single mother, which taught her daughter resilience from an early age.

“Our situation was incredibly unique – the kids were two and three when I got breast cancer. I was told I was going to die,” Melinda said.

Holly said it was important to treat stepfamilies like any other family.

“It makes people realise that stepfamilies are out there and they are just like all other families,” Holly said.

“We're just a family – a step family is just a family. It just means that there’s more people to love the children.   

“Dad came into my life when I was seven, and it has been really great from then – it’s been good to have a dad figure in my life.”

Holly was six weeks old when Melinda and her partner separated.

When Melinda began her relationship with Joe, her focus was always on her kids.

“Six months in (to the new relationship), Holly was being really rude and naughty and I sat down with her and asked ‘what’s wrong?,’” Melinda said.

“I said if you don’t want Joe in our lives we can move on. She said ‘no, Mum, you’re as happy as I’ve ever seen you and I’m happy for Joe to be here.”  

Special occasions, such as Christmas, can be quite the challenge with an extended family – but, just like any other family, the location is shared around.

Stepfamily advocate Carla Hogg, a child and family counsellor and consultant at Centacare, is pushing to take away the negative connotations associated with stepfamilies.

National Stepfamily Awareness Day recognises and celebrates the significant role stepparents play in the lives of the children and young people they care for. It is also a time to reflect on the services available to support families.

Generally, extended family, friends and the community don’t recognise how difficult it can be for stepfamilies, particularly in the first two years of the stepfamily forming, when stepfamilies often need support as they adjust.

Stepfamilies generally experience unique and complex challenges compared to first time families, including periods of confusion, conflict and crisis before adjusting to their new roles and developing strong family bonds.

Centacare recognises the specific challenges that step and blended families experience, and provide appropriate stepfamily counselling and programs, including specific education and information for individuals who have children and are wanting to remarry or re-partner, forming a stepfamily. With the appropriate support stepfamilies thrive and are able to successfully negotiate the fusion often required as families come together.