BANNING horse racing seems a good idea.
While we're at it, let's get rid of harness racing, greyhound racing and pigeon racing.
In every one of these "sports" there is a massive risk - some experts say as high as 127% - of a horse, dog or pigeon suffering serious injury or death.
This has been going on for far too long.
Other equestrian pastimes will also need go - so say goodbye to cross country, dressage and show jumping events.
Scratch pony club for kids too.
Likewise, forcing various breeds of dogs to catch frisbees thrown by their heartless owners must be outlawed.
And what about those rotters who lure defenceless fish onto their hooks.
Anglers of all persuasions should be drawn and quartered - or at best ordered to find something else to do with their spare time.
People - it's a dangerous world out there for animals.
They are absolutely living on the edge - every minute of every day.
Let's not get me started on hunting.
How utterly cruel and distasteful is it for men - surely not women - to use guns, knives, machetes or crossbows to kill harmless pigs, kangaroos, foxes ducks or crocodiles.
No matter that the kangaroos are causing untold damage to crops and fences, or that wild pigs do exactly the same
It's irrelevant too that crocodiles eat people - the crocodiles were here first.
Ducks - all birds - need to be protected.
Let the galahs, cockatoos, starlings etc take over our gardens and lawns - they were here first, right!.
Animal rights activities obviously know what they're on about - and probably live in cities where the only wildlife exists in bars at 3am.
Think about all this.
By getting rid of all the so-called sports involving horses, dogs, pigeons, birds etc etc the possibility of humans being harmed would also be severely reduced.
No horse or harness racing means no jockeys or drivers running the day-to-day gauntlet of catastrophic injury or death.
In the case of pigeon racing, of course, the participants will be saved from the monumental threat of lice.
As much as culling kangaroos, crocodiles or wild pigs could cause their numbers to rise exponentially, this is a better prospect than having their blood on the hands of a hunter.
Naturally, without the many forms of hunting, the possibility of a dastardly participant being hurt by a wayward shot would become non-existent.
The world would be a better and safer place for crocodiles, ducks and hunters alike.
How on earth someone hasn't come up with this idea in the past is absolutely astonishing.
And what about even taking it a step further.
There are countless activities in which people are maimed or killed on a daily basis.
For starters, the various football codes are a complete and utter death-trap.
Take rugby league, rugby union, gridiron, Australian football and even soccer out of the sporting equation and the lives of numerous young men and women would be *saved.
Same goes for the vast majority of sports.
From aerial skiing through to water polo there is an innate risk of injury or worse in each of the sporting disciplines.
How about darts as a classic case.
Surely it would take only one wayward throw to cause untold damage to an eye or schooner glass - and a direct hit to the heart would almost certainly be fatal.
The results could be just as dire with a misdirected javelin, shot put or discus throw at a school athletics carnival or the Olympics.
Take sport out of a stadium, pub or club, and things only go from bad to diabolically worse.
On the water or the bitumen the chances of major problems for participants go through the roof.
It is definitely no secret that surfboard riders are regularly devoured by sharks and skateboard riders are completely uninsurable.
Suffice to say there are degrees of peril involved in the many forms of motorsport, but accidents can also happen driving to Aldi for a carton of Storm premium light lager.
Motor racing enthusiasts of every ilk deserve the right to drive as fast as they like - as do Pommie tourists who simply think the Hume Highway is a racetrack.
Really, let's not get carried away here.
Already we've got the do-gooders telling us horse racing is inhumane.
This outrageous vocal minority says it knows what is best for the thousands who rely on the horse racing industry for their livelihood, and the millions who like a punt or just watching the spectacular action at the track.
Give me strength.
Banning horse racing would just be the start - all sport would be in the cross-hairs.
The misfits and placard-waving idiots have no credibility and deserve no credence.
Or else we can all take our bat and ball and go home for good.
* The Notebook did not attempt to discover accurate figures of the number of causalities in football-related sports, but remains positive it would be more than double that of bridge or bridge-climbing
Sign up for our newsletter to stay up to date.