After 35 years of addiction, Robyn wants to give back

Home wasn’t always a great place for her and her 10 siblings to be.

Her dad, she said, was an alcoholic, and there was a domestic violence, while at school she and her family were bullied.

“We were poor and we were abused,” she said.

“I wasn’t nurtured. I wasn’t told I was special or that I was loved. Drugs gave me comfort. I think lot of people who grew up in similar families turn to drugs because of that.

“I want people who have been through that to know it’s not their fault they’ve had this childhood.

“They shouldn’t punish themselves with drugs and alcohol and gambling.”

Ms Lewis admits drugs initially made her feel good, but that didn’t last, so she moved on to try other things. She smoked, she gambled and she drank alcohol.

“Then in the 1990s ice came on the scene and I was introduced to that and it was the beginning of a love affair until it basically stripped me of everything,” Ms Lewis said.

“It’s a pretty heavy-duty drug. It was all fun and games until reality set it.”

Ms Lewis battled her addictions for 35 years.

She survived violent relationships and watched family and friends step out of her life. And there have been deaths: Friends committed suicide and a boyfriend was murdered.

“I believe that because of the all the violence that always surrounded me, I was masking the pain for all those years,” she said.

“I didn’t have any self-worth or self-esteem and I was so sensitive to everything. As soon as anything got tough, I’d run back to using. I used it as an escape and coping mechanism.”

But now, aged 52, Ms Lewis has been clean and sober for 18 months. She took part in the Smart (self management and recovery training) program.

“I’d tried many things. I’d tried detox, different institutions and bucket-loads of counselling, psychologists, psychiatrists and practitioners,” she said. “I didn’t just have one addiction, I had half a dozen addictions at once.”

Ms Lewis found out about the Smart program through a GP she’d reached out to in desperation.

“I got sick and tired of being sick and tired,” she said.

“Drugs and alcohol take your self-worth and self-esteem, even though I always knew I was a really nice person, I was a good person. I always knew that I had potential.

“About two years ago, I was basically at my wit’s end and I went to a GP and they told me about the Smart Recovery Australia program.”

Ms Lewis doesn’t have an easy answer as to why this program worked, but believes part of her success lies in her wanting to make a change, as well as the peer support she received through Smart.

“You’ve got to be ready, got to want it,” she said.

“Look at people who are ordered by the courts, they’re not going for the right reasons. I believe that the person’s really got to want it.

“Even though people do really want it – which I did for a long time – it’s still really hard to break away.”

Since becoming clean and sober, Ms Lewis has developed new interests, in addition to devoting time to an existing love of horses.

She exercises every day and tries to ride her bike as often as possible.

Ms Lewis credits regular exercise for helping her to cope with depression and anxiety.

“In the first 12 months of being clean, I was in mourning. I’d lost my ‘best friends’”, she said.

“Now, I’m coming out of that mourning and there is no depression and no anxiety. I think it’s really important people consider using exercise as a way of helping to curb depression.”

Ms Lewis hopes to study to become a personal trainer. But that is just one of the goals she’s set herself.

She has just qualified as a Smart program facilitator and will be holding a meeting in her home town on West Wyalong on November 14, in the Aboriginal Land Council office, to start a Smart recovery program.

Having recently spoken to Smart participants in Wagga, Ms Lewis is keen to share her experiences in the hope of helping others who are dealing with addictions.

“The facilitator in the Wagga group said that after I spoke, some of the others started sharing their own experiences. I thought ‘‘yes, this is what it’s all about – helping people’,” she said.

“I felt like what I was doing was worthwhile and really working.”

Ryan McGlaughlin, executive director of Smart Recovery Australia, said Ms Lewis exemplified the peer program. “She is a great example to the public,” he said.

“Robyn’s story is that, in many ways, people can go through addiction, but if you give them the tools they can take back control of their life.”

For details, email Ms Lewis at dunromin1965@hotmail.com