Women face an epidemic of stress and exhaustion

Do you dread that morning alarm that summons you to face another full and hectic day, when you have not had enough sleep to refresh from the day before?

Do you find yourself close to tears as yet another demand is placed on your shoulders, already carrying a huge load? Do you sometimes find yourself zoned out, head in a fog, unable to concentrate or think clearly?

Believe me, you are not alone.

The COVID pandemic has led to many women experiencing exhaustion and burnout.

For many working people who could work from home, their homes turned into workplaces, childcare centres and makeshift schools. Home was no longer a refuge from the outside world.

A place you returned to at the end of a long day. And who shouldered this load? In the majority of cases it was women. And still do to this day.

How can one person realistically do paid work, look after young children and/or supervise school work all at the one time? But this is what many women did, as well as carry the burden of the burgeoning mental load that most women carry in order to make their household and relationships run smoothly.

Many had hoped this crisis would encourage the men in their lives to pick up some of the increased load, like undertaking more housework and cooking.

The research so far shows this is not the case. In fact, women are doing more domestic work. And for many there has been an increase in domestic violence and broken relationships, as well as reduction or loss of income.

For the women who were not able to work from home, they faced the stress of securing childcare and potentially being exposed to COVID. The vast majority of people who work in the caring professions of health, child and aged care and disability services are women. They were and still are expected to work until they drop, as we all know women are machines and love caring.

If you are an Aboriginal woman or a woman from a non-Anglo culture, you have racism and abuse to add to your load. And if this is not enough, we all are living with the reality of a disrupted life and deep down know this is not over, whatever "over" means personally.

We live betwixt and between, neither one thing or the other, unsettled, insecure. We desperately want things to be predictable. Humans hate uncertainty and we are great denialists.

So women, what can we do? Use our voices! Say we have had enough of being the ones where the buck stops. Call for acknowledgement of our sacrifice and service in real terms. How about increased wages and welfare payments?

Learn to not suffer in silence and demand greater equality in our families and workplaces.

Vote for women representatives at all levels of government, whose values align with your own. Learn to love yourself.

Take a leaf out of Grace Tame's book. Find your authentic voice. Stuff the predictable chorus of voices which will chastise you and treat you like a child.

The alternative way forward I see is one where I accept what is, warts and all. Allowing the range of emotions I feel to be and acknowledged whether they be anger, despair, grief, depression.

These so called "forbidden" feelings are perfectly normal, even healthy, calling for us to accept and honour them. Dare to share this with a trusted friend. Speaking takes things out of our heads and puts them out there. Gives your head more space.

Return to simple things and open your eyes to what is good and life-giving in the current uncertainty; bird song, a breeze on your face, a walk in nature, a catch-up call from a family member, a cuppa with a friend, a hug by someone you love, finding your mob, a smile from a stranger, laughter, singing, crying...

And here is another idea! Angela Priestley, reported in Women's Agenda last week that a group of mothers came together in Boston, US, to "scream into the darkness". They had had enough and words no longer felt adequate to describe their lot, all the issues in this article and more.

It was reported this scream could be heard by women around the world, as we all have experienced the burden of caring and carrying others forever while the bulk of politicians hid, mismanaged, lied and clearly did not know what they were doing.

Mother or not, you're also no doubt frustrated, angered, exhausted and anxious about facing the unknowing of what happens next.

So, Wagga women, how about a women's scream down by the river. Let's add our voices to the screeches of the white cockatoos!