Are you counting down the sleeps until Santa visits? Christmas is often portrayed as a time of joy and celebration, filled with food, family and laughter.
Some people spend weeks, if not months, planning gatherings and picking out presents for their loved ones, anticipating the day with excitement.
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Many other people face this time of year with dread. They may be isolated from friends and family, experiencing emotional or financial stress, adjusting to a change in personal circumstances, or perhaps experiencing domestic abuse.
We know historically that family violence incidents peak over the festive season. Experts have warned that there could be further surges in coming weeks in the context of COVID and parts of Australia emerging from lockdowns.
This is especially worrying given the rise in rates of domestic abuse over the past 18 months.
On November 25, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, the Wagga Women's Health Centre held a ceremony to acknowledge the 38 Australian women violently killed during 2021 up to that date. It marked the beginning of the 16 Days of Activism against Gender Based Violence, which ended on Human Rights Day on December 10.
The 16 Days of Activism campaign was initially launched in 1991 by the Women's Global Leadership Institute to raise awareness about violence against women. During this year's campaign, another four Australian women were murdered, taking the 2021 total to 42 (at the time of writing). One life is too many; 42 is unacceptable.
For each woman killed, there are hundreds - thousands - more living in fear and wondering if they will be next. The confronting thing is, one of them is right. They will be next. You may know them. You may even be them.
These deaths are entirely preventable. We need to move awareness of violence against women to action, and action to accountability. As the messaging of the DV Project: 2650 highlighted, we need to stop violence where it begins - with disrespect.
During the 16 Days of Activism, the Wagga Women's Health Centre also hosted Saxon Mullins for two events, including a candlelight vigil acknowledging survivors of sexual assault. Saxon's advocacy was pivotal to the NSW Parliament passing the Crimes Legislation Amendment (Sexual Consent Reforms) Act 2021, embedding the concept of affirmative consent in relevant laws.
The introduction of affirmative sexual consent is long overdue, representing a concrete step towards improving women's safety. The "common sense" reforms in the Act make sexual consent laws easier to follow and enable more effective prosecutions of sexual offences.
The changes are based on the principle of common decency, that consent is a free choice involving mutual and ongoing communication, and that consent should not be presumed.
The NSW government also wants to criminalise coercive control, "a form of domestic abuse involving repeated patterns of abusive behaviour - which can include physical, sexual, psychological, emotional or financial abuse - the cumulative effect of which is to rob victim-survivors of their autonomy and independence".
According to research, coercive control is a significant indicator of intimate partner violence. NSW data reveal that it occurred in 111 of 112 of the intimate partner homicides which occurred in a domestic violence context between March 2008 and June 2016.
The NSW Parliament Joint Select Committee on Coercive Control was established in October 2020 and handed down its report in July 2021. The government published its response to this report last week, indicating that it will introduce a bill to the NSW Parliament in the 2022 spring session.
Spring 2022 is a long time away, and the reality is if we want to stop violence against women, it needs to start with us - in our local communities - rather than waiting for legislative reform.
During Christmas and beyond, we can be agents for change. We can refuse to tolerate sexist and otherwise unacceptable "jokes" and behaviour at gatherings, and learn to call them out.
When connecting with friends and family, we can learn to trust our instincts that if something doesn't feel right, then it may not be. We can learn to safely make sure the people we care about are OK.
We can use age-appropriate strategies to teach children about respect and consent. Parenting experts, psychologists, and sexual assault specialists emphasise that this includes not forcing them hug and kiss people they don't feel comfortable with, a timely reminder at this time of year.
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We can learn about what support services are available for people experiencing domestic abuse, as well as for perpetrators, and share those when needed.
While some services are closed during this time of year, others such as 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) and Mensline Australia (1300 789 978) continue to operate. Be aware. Learn to act. Hold people accountable.
Together, we can stop violence at the start.
