With the chaos we recently witnessed with the toilet paper shortage, imagine the situation with an extreme fuel shortage?

Currently we are faced with many problems, COVID-19 pandemic, unreality TV, Dan Andrews etc, and rurally, the usual fires, droughts and flooding plains, and resurgence of the Rodentia plague.

Fortunately this latter problem is an epidemic and a seasonal occurrence, presently in its roundabout phase.

Our furry, little, long-tailed citizens, having chewed their way through large realms of our farmers' cereal assets, have now retired - to haystacks, barns and other rural condominiums and household larders.

They are presently enjoying a hibernation-like rest, peacefully snoring away with full bellies, sleepy smiles and their pointy little faces and happy gourmet memories with joyful expectations of the next big feast at harvest time in a couple of months.

We are hopeful that the COVID problem will be solved, but shouldn't be holding our breaths. Maybe that is a pun.

But in the meantime our populace surely needs a glimmer of hope to lift our sagging spirits in these desperate times.

And it is available in the form of that mighty entity, PETA.

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Erudite spokesperson Aleesha Naxakis, as recently as May this year, has perceptively diagnosed the problem and advised us on the control of our own Rodentia epidemic ("PETA 'dopey' over plea to save mice', The Daily Advertiser, May 20).

What a triumph this will be, especially for our rural communities.

Aleesha has lucidly explained the issue and its history and put forward a well thought out and logical solution.

Firstly, we need to be disabused of our "dangerous notion of human supremacy". Our mousey mates are fully entitled to whatever they need and is available.

The problem has been exacerbated by the government's "failure to keep the mouse population in check, through long-term deterrents and contraception".

Problem solved. Our recalcitrant government must establish and financially support a regular series of seminars to instruct and assist our Mickeys and Minnies, and require their compliance.

On enrolment in these symposiums, all attendees be given a show bag containing 'the pill', caps, pessaries, IUDs and sanitiser wipes.

The courses will be organised and addressed by suitably accredited PETA specialists.

Speakers will give strong emphasis on the dutiful use of the show bag contents and stress the need for personal restraint.

The last advice from PETA is that the distasteful program of mouse elimination is not required.

Rather that they be treated as our guests and ushered into safe, warm and companionable accommodation and obviously these would be the houses and back yards of PETA adherents.

With this program established we can begin to consider these genial little dears to be our "friends", not "fiends".

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