THEY say it takes a village to raise a child, and that is especially true when it comes to raising a child with autism.
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To mark Autism Awareness Month, the families of four children on the spectrum have spoken candidly about their unique experiences.
By allowing people a glimpse into their lives, these devoted parents hope to create a caring and supportive community in which their children can flourish.
For one Wagga mother, her son with autism brightens her days, but it's the judgment and cruelty from others that can make it a "living hell".
Sheryl Hammond is a single mum to nine-year-old Aiden Hubbard, who was born with the genetic brain disease neurofibromatosis type 1.
She said the autism stems from the condition, and Aiden was diagnosed at the age of three.
"It's been a learning curve," Ms Hammond said. "It was hard to find the right services. It takes a village to raise a child with autism, and when you are a single mum, it's a lot harder."
Ms Hammond said she would not change anything about Aiden as he brightens every day. But, she added, the judgment she and her son face are what makes life a "living hell" some days.
"He doesn't have meltdowns anymore, but when he did, people would stop and stare and say things like 'he's such a brat'," Ms Hammond. "The stares hurt more. He used to be bullied too."
Ms Hammond and Aiden moved to Kooringal to be closer to her mum for support, and now Aiden goes to The Bidgee School.
"They are the best. He is almost back to full days at school," she said. "They are a godsend."
Ms Hammond said while she and Aiden's father are no longer together, they work in partnership to make sure that Aiden feels happy, safe and supported.
She wants the community to start focusing on the person, not the diagnosis.
"You can line up 200 people with autism and they will not be the same," Ms Hammond said.
"Aiden is absolutely fabulous. He's very funny, outgoing, and an absolute joy ... I wouldn't change him for the world."
Tony Nechvatal is the father of 18-year-old twins Zac and Ryan, who were diagnosed with autism a little after they turned two.
It was a shock when the paediatrician told them the news, but Mr Nechvatal and his wife hit the ground running when they got home to find out all they could about autism.
Now, 16 years on, the two boys are active members of the community, but not without the hard work from the Nechvatal family.
"They do community inclusion three days a week," he said.
"Ryan loves going shopping, going for walks and watching YouTube, while Zac likes swimming, going for a haircut. They go separately, and they have a support worker, so then people in the community can see them as individuals."
Mr Nechvatal said Ryan has always been the more sociable of the two, whereas Zac likes to know someone before trusting them. He said raising two adult boys is complex, and the demands are different from having a young child on the spectrum.
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"But the one thing people forget is that autism does not vanish. It's how they handle the autism as they get older, and the strategies they have in place that make a difference."
Mr Nechvatal explained there are two looks he gets as a parent of a child on the spectrum.
"One is before they hit 10 or 11 and the child has a meltdown," he said. "People look at you like 'oh, that poor dad.
"He doesn't know what he's doing'. The other is when they are older, and the child has an episode. They look at you like, 'oh, there is something wrong with that child, that poor dad'. I don't know which one is worse."
Mr Nechvatal said it has been inspiring to watch his boys grow into men, achieving milestones along the way.
"Any parent celebrates their kids' successes, but you look at your kids' successes differently because everything is a little bit harder when you are on the spectrum," he said. "I am so proud of them."
For the Rignalls, things are a little bit different as being a defence force family means moving to a new posting every two or three years. Their nine-year-old daughter Havana was diagnosed with high-function autism and complex disorder almost five years ago. But she relishes the challenges that come with moving.
Her mother, Georgia Rignall, said two of the biggest challenges are schooling and health services.
"We were posted up to Townsville, and we went to the Queensland Education Department, and they were fantastic," she said.
"Havana started in a mainstream school in a special needs unit, whereas NSW doesn't have them here. Queensland was more beneficial for us. We have been here two years, and she has found it hard to make friends."
The first school Havana went was not a good fit, Mrs Rignall said, so they managed to get outer-zone approval - a "battle in itself" - for another school where she is now thriving.
Another challenge is finding allied services with practitioners who are a "good fit".
"Wagga is also a little dry when it comes to allied health services," Mrs Rignall said. "We have to find new services every time. When we go to a new post, we have to wait for an appointment and then it might not even be a good fit, so you have to start all over again."
Mrs Rignall said her daughter is an intelligent, loyal and bright girl with a thirst for knowledge.
"She needs to know about that person [that she meets], and then Havana is happy to be their friend," she said. "She's like a reporter. She wants to know the background information."
Mrs Rignall said if the community could learn one thing this Autism Awareness month she would want them to listen and be patient. It's a message echoed by Mr Nechvatal and Ms Hammond, who urge the community not to judge.
"Don't judge us, there needs to be more acceptance and education about autism," Ms Hammond said.
"Yes autism is a disability, but it's not the end of that person's life. They are still important community members," Mr Nechvatal said.
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