Dear Aunty,
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I wish for your advice on a problem I have that I have not been able to solve on my own.
I am sure the answer is not complex, but perhaps lack of conviction holds me back from doing that which I know should be done.
I have been in a relationship for nine years. I was previously married and have grown offspring from that marriage.
I run a successful business, am of older persuasion and am generally a happy person.
I entered into my current relationship with a woman who, at the time presented as happy, genuine and caring.
Over the years, it has become apparent to me that this was perhaps all a scam.
This woman is critical of not only me but everything in life.
She continually puts me down in public and her behaviour towards me in private is abusive and vindictive.
I allowed her to work in my business, paying her handsomely, which has caused many issues with my clients due to her abrasive nature.
I have been generous in financial terms, ensuring that she kept all of her own money garnered prior to meeting me and paying for almost everything we do and require.
I am not happy, but I can see a very nasty break-up if I make that move. Nearly every friend I have has told me to cut the cord, so to speak.
Should I just give her a huge bankroll to leave? I do not love her anymore and we share nothing but acrimony.
Is it time to be brave, no matter the consequences?
AGONY AUNT
Relationships do have highs and lows but vindictive, abusive behaviour is never acceptable.
Reading between the lines, I take it this behaviour is not one of the "lows", but the way that you live your life on a daily basis.
I realise there are always two sides to every story and your partner may well have a different viewpoint to explain her behaviour, but I reiterate: abuse is not acceptable under any circumstances.
I am not across your financial situation with this woman, but surely she has entitlements and is due no more than that?
It sounds as if you have been more than fair and reasonable in the past. I also assume you have no children together.
You have mentioned that you are of the "older persuasion", so my question is similar to the Boys Club: how much more life do you have left and how much of that life do you wish to live in misery?
Being a martyr is not going to achieve any positive results and eventually any sympathy you are receiving from friends and relatives will wane. Nobody likes a doormat.
Decide what you want, seek a solicitor's advice and get on with your life.
Trust me, our time on earth is way too short to waste on people who do not deserve us.
BOYS CLUB
What are you waiting for?
How many more years will you sacrifice to unhappiness, mate?
Email aunty.agony@outlook.com