Dear Agony Aunt,
Well, the Christmas period is over and as usual, I wonder why I bother.
I always put a lot of effort into the day, with food, music and happy smiles for everyone.
Once again, this year both Christmas day and Boxing day turned into a nightmare. By mid-afternoon people were dragging up perceived slights from 20 years ago and carrying on like two year olds. All my efforts to stop the rot went unheeded and now two of the three adult kids are no longer speaking to each other. My husband is fed up and said that enough is enough.
I am not sure whether to try and get involved or just let it all be. It makes me so sad to witness this. I am considering not hosting Christmas in the future.
Sorry to start the New Year with a grumble but I am so terribly disappointed and at a loss.
Christmas seems to bring out the very worst in some people. By the tone of your letter it would appear that this is not an isolated occurrence.
For you to not host Christmas seems like a double edged sword to me. You obviously want to share the season with your family but it is causes you and others grief.
The options are clear. Sit down with all the parties and tell them straight that Christmas 2021 will be your last with them unless they can show respect to you and each other. Be prepared to carry through on this though as old habits die hard with some people.
Your other option is to just say nothing and do nothing. That includes getting away with your hubby and doing Christmas and New Year in a way that makes you both happy. Only you and your husband can decide.
Why keep doing what makes you unhappy? Sounds like you are flogging a dead horse.
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