Would you recognise if someone you knew was slipping under? When I was a young man, I didn't.
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At Goulburn in 1970, I thought I was getting along like a house on fire with a girlfriend, but she seemed to lose enthusiasm. Being a gentleman, I simply moved on.
But later in the year, her colleagues told me that she was in hospital being treated for anorexia. By the end of that year, she was critically ill.
Her illness caused me to ask questions about anorexia.
Why would a happy, very attractive young lady from a happy, stable home graduate from university, start a new job only to have her life spiral out of control?
Friends told me that she had become body obsessive, seeing herself as fat.
She started avoiding meals, then fad eating, and all the while withdrawing from work and social contact.
When I talked with medical friends in my social group of 50 years ago, they described anorexia in simple, almost dismissive, terms.
"Just something the person grows out of," was one response.
Today, we recognise eating disorders as a sign of deeper mental, social or physical problems ... is our society and its expectations to blame? I don't watch those marriage or dating shows on television, but just the promos are enough to give the impression that a girl has to be lean to be attractive.
But today, we recognise eating disorders as a sign of deeper mental, social or physical problems.
A comprehensive Australian website that describes virtually every aspect of anorexia and associated eating disorders is ReachOut Australia (au.reachout.com).
It also provides contacts for organisations like Kids Helpline and the Butterfly Foundation.
ReachOut explains about more than anorexia, but let's start with that issue.
It says: "Anorexia nervosa is a type of eating disorder with some unique characteristics, such as an obsessive fear of gaining weight, distorted body image and low body weight", having a "devastating impact on your physical health".
Symptoms include "not wanting to eat, and doing things to avoid eating ... obsessive weighing, looking in the mirror or body checking ... avoiding social outings with family and friends".
Is our society and its expectations to blame?
I don't watch those marriage or dating shows on television, but just the promos are enough to give the impression that a girl has to be lean to be attractive.
Yahoo's website recently showed Elle McPherson at 56 "sharing a sizzling swimsuit snap that left little to the imagination."
Elle is a very attractive woman, and I'll bet that many women wish they had her figure at 56.
But the fact is that having several children, working long hours and serving cheaper cuts of meat so that all the family can eat would not be a recipe for "the body", as Elle is labelled worldwide.
Harpers Bazaar wrote of the "hilarious end" to Elle's affair with Billy Joel. He came home with Christie Brinkley, 10 years Elle's senior at the time.
Could that episode tell young girls that a perfect figure does not necessarily win the man?
Plus-size model Ashley Graham became a cover girl for Sports Illustrated.
Women's Health magazine was quick to point out that "a recent study published in the International Journal of Obesity found that body mass index (BMI) is not a reliable way to measure someone's health".
But here's another point. A woman named Yvette Caster, whose body weight fluctuates, created two identical online dating profiles of herself at size 18 and size 10 on free online UK dating site OKCupid.
She attracted plenty of swipes for the "fatter" profile (her word).
Being healthy is beautiful. It is more important than being perfect - a message of reassurance that perhaps someone near to you needs to hear.
I wish I had known how to say that in Goulburn 50 years ago.
If you or anyone you knows needs support, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14, Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.