My husband and I have been together for  22 years.

About a  year ago my husband got a message on his phone while he was driving. He asked me to check who it was; it was a facebook message from our daughter  but I also saw another message between my husband and an ex-girlfriend of his. 

 I read the message out loud at his request, the one from our daughter but I also mentioned the other one.  He denied that it was him, and of course, was furious that I had found it.

The woman asks what he was up to, and states she is now divorced. She then suggested they meet up  soon to catch up.

My husband replied but made no mention of me or our kids, and replied that he had a business trip coming up in the area she lived in.

He continues to deny that he ever wrote that message and that he ever met up with her. I do not believe him.

Since I found this out I am having issues within our relationship. I can’t even face sleeping with him without thinking about this.

I have just found yet another old girlfriend he has been saying sweet things to, and I am heartbroken and furious.

He doesn’t know I have found the latest messages yet. I’m not sure if he is just flirting or if he is seriously looking for someone else.

I have been putting money away to be prepared for anything that comes next, but I love him. I am also realistic, and understand that he may not love me or care about “us” anymore. Any advice?

AGONY AUNT

SOMETIMES we have hard decisions to make. This man is quite clearly not able to be totally faithful to you.

You can ask as many questions as you want or need but denial is part of his DNA.

The real decision for you is whether you wish to live the remainder of your life like this or if indeed, enough is enough. Are you staying there because you are scared of being on your own? Being on your own is much better than being with somebody who disrespects you so.

I would suggest counselling but I fear your husband is so into denial that it would be a waste of time.

It really comes down to what you want for the rest of your days and what you believe you deserve.

My heart goes out to you but only you can make the call.

BOYS CLUB

TELL him that you love him and want to be with him but you are not into sharing. Assess his reaction!