A former Wagga man has revealed his harrowing tale of life as a victim of family violence.
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Sean Hay’s journey from an abusive relationship to freedom follows a Wagga-based exhibit across the weekend, raising money for Wagga Women’s Health Centre.
The Ultimate Women’s Expo came to the Riverina to pamper, empower and educate residents about family violence related issues.
An expo volunteer and former ambulance officer, Mr Hay said he, like other stall holders, had experienced a form of domestic violence.
Mr Hay said it was difficult to recall his experiences.
He said men being victims of domestic violence was an issue not often talked about and rarely acknowledged.
“I had come from an emotional abusive relationship … for nearly eight years,” Mr Hay said. “There were times when it was physical.”
The Albury-based DJ and health and well-being professional said his situation had been confronting at the time.
“You never want to hurt your partner so you sort of just cop it,” he said. “Then finally I had the guts to leave.”
Mr Hay said more men suffered from the effects of emotional blackmail, isolation and control realised.
“It’s being put down, it’s being cut off from family, it’s psychological games,” he said. “You have someone you love and adore and you want to help them but sometimes they can take advantage.”
Mr Hay said fear of ridicule was one of the reasons it wasn’t spoken about.
“A lot of guys feel because it’s in reverse they have to put up with it,” he said. “But the violent spectrum, it works both ways.”
But Mr Hay wanted to encourage men in similar situations to come forward, to get help and to not be afraid.
“It took me a long time to make my decision,” he said. “It was hard.”
After leaving and receiving support, Mr Hay said he reconnected with an old flame, whom he was now engaged.
The couple are expecting a baby in less than four months.
“I though I knew what being in a relationship and being in love was,” My Hay said. “Now I know.”
The weekend’s event coordinator Penny O’Sullivan said more than 60 per cent of stall holders were from the Riverina and almost all of them, like Sean, had either experienced abusive relationships or they knew someone who had.
After Ms O’Sullivan was almost choked to death at her ex-partner’s hands, she had made it her mission to help others.
“It’s more common than people realise,” she said. “You don’t even realise you’re in a bad situation a lot of the time.”