Dear Agony Aunt,
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I am a 30-year-old guy with a great professional job. My career is going really well, but the one thing in my life I am not enjoying is my relationship. My girlfriend, who is 28, has a beautiful five-year-old daughter, who I absolutely adore, and a job, but I am no longer in love with her. When I try to finish the relationship she cries, and it breaks my heart. I end up taking everything I say back. She is a very anxious woman, and clingy, which I really hate. She texts me all the time, 30 or 40 messages a day. She constantly needs reassurance and most times I don't even want to go home. What do I do?
AGONY AUNT
Sometimes the best love is tough love. By continuing to stay there and always retracting your statements of desire to finish the relationship you show her that she has a chance.
Of course she is insecure and clingy - you have repeatedly told her you want out, although I would suggest that 30-40 texts a day every day borders on obsessive. ‘Cruel to be kind, in the right measure’ as the old song goes is the way forward.
If you sincerely want out, you must leave and resist all and any contact for the immediate future. This is no time to be a martyr. Nobody will thank you for dragging this out. Be firm but kind then move out and on.
BOYS’ CLUB
We are confused. You don’t love her, are annoyed by her and don’t want to go home. Where is the question??