As I begin to muse on what to write about this week, it is the day after my birthday (which was Monday, September, 26) and I think it has been one of the best Birthdays I have had in years! Not too hard to know why, I applied the principle of “like begets like”. I was reading William James once (start reading him if you haven’t) and he said something like “We do not sing because we are happy, we are happy because we sing”.
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So to conflate these two concepts, and after spending the last two Birthdays “low key”, and as a scientific experiment, I decided to celebrate this year’s Birthday big. I agreed to parties here and in Sydney. Four birthday parties with four separate awesome cakes. The scientific experiment worked!
Like really does beget like! The more I celebrated the more I wanted to celebrate! So different to this time only two years ago! Two years ago after my dear brother Kevin had died and many friends went to their own place, I was with family looking at my Birthday cake all lit up and thinking negatively “Why am I still letting people do this to me? Just because I love them? What are we celebrating anyway? That I didn’t die in the last twelve months? ‘Congratulations’?
For what? Staying alive? In history cake was always associated with death! “Let them eat cake” and the cruel game of “Cake or death”.” Like begets like so I got even more negative in my thoughts, thinking “And if a birthday cake is symbolic of our life, why do we put little flames on top? Are those flames each year a subtle reminder of where I’m heading? Because each year those flames seem to be getting more and more!” God even threw me a bone; that night the South Sydney Rabbitohs got into their first Grand Final since a fortnight before I was born and I still wasn’t happy!
Okay, I’m exaggerating my melancholy, but that was my Birthday two years ago and I think you should be allowed to have winters in your life or you can never fully appreciate the Spring times in your life and the goodness and Summertime of personal growth, which happens whether we want soul-changing experiences or not.
I’m glad I agreed to those Birthday parties two years ago when I didn’t want to party. Perhaps the tradition would have died. I was partly wrong to think I should celebrate parties with people just because I love them. We should celebrate parties with people also because they love us.
This might sound strange, but prayers are like parties. Not just because you think “This is going to be so boring and I’m going to need an exit plan” and then you don’t want to leave, but also because we should pray to God not because we love God (maybe we don’t) but we should pray because God loves us.
I love that part where Jesus tells his friends that someone is going to betray him so he thanks his friends in advance by saying “You are the ones who have stood by me in my trials” (Luke 22:28). I think every Birthday speech is like that, which is probably why they almost all begin with the word “Thank you”. There are over 23 million people in Australia’s population, but if you had 30 loyal people at your Birthday party you would be extremely popular. But even one true friend makes a difference.
Thank you to those who wished me Happy Birthday but diplomatically didn’t ask “How old?” because remember, age is not a number, it’s a word (I stole that one).
The people who wish us Happy Birthday are the reason why our Birthday is happy. They say “Congratulations” to us but it is they who should be congratulated.