My husband and I were in business deal with his brother and wife.

The dissolution of that business left a bad taste in his brother’s mouth.  

We have tried to remain cordial, mainly communicating through cards, as they live on the other side of the country.

We weren't close before the business and believe that he still feels he was “had” in the business venture.

Our problem is that we are godparents to one of their children. We try to respect that special status with a nice gift each year.

Although this year our gift was received with an email "thank you" from the mother, we heard nothing from the girl (our niece), who will turn 30 soon.

They have been passive-aggressive in the past, but I would like your opinion as to whether I should even bother in the future.

I have also sent a gift each year to her brother, even though we are not his godparents, as they have previously expressed he felt left out. He also has not thanked us for his gift.

What do you all think?

AGONY AUNT

IF YOU want to try to clear things up with your brother-in-law and his wife, then you should openly address whatever your very challenging business situation was.

This is obviously the problem you are all having and it seems pretty silly to pretend your issue is all about a gift giving where the thank you came from a different party to the one you wished for.

Your brother-in-law and his wife are not the only ones playing ‘passive/aggressive’.

You are clearly indulging in the same behaviour.

So my advice is quite simply that this might be a good time for some maturity to be tabled at a meeting of the four of you and have the problem of the “dissolved business deal” talked over and out until some resolution can be reached.

BOYS CLUB

SEEMS all a little stupid to us. Isn’t a 30-year-old a little old for gifts from her godparents?