Agony Aunt
Julie Elphick
Dear Agony,
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I have a friend at work who is getting married in October.
She asked me for my address and, since we also went to school together, asked me for a few of our school friends contacts .
Strangely all my friends received invitations to her wedding in the mail and to date, I haven’t.
I think it's possible that my invitation legitimately was lost in the mail or it may have been an honest oversight.
But then again I cannot be sure.
Her attitude to me hasn’t changed and I cannot feel or think of any issue that may have caused he to “disinvite” me.
Should I politely ask if I'm invited to her wedding?
I’ve thought of bringing up the subject in conversation at work, but I’m afraid it would be rude to directly ask if I’m still invited.
I consider her a good friend and get along great with her fiancé so I'm thinking it was an honest mistake.
What is the best course of action?
Agony Aunt says
WHILE I can understand that you may find it a little awkward or embarrassing to ask where your invite is or isn’t, don’t you think you would be more embarrassed if your invite has been mislaid but you do not attend her wedding because you thought you were not invited?
Maybe it has been mislaid or indeed lost in the post or perhaps she thought it had been processed and sent but it slipped though the gaps in all the drama and chaos that precedes a wedding.
I think the Boys have said it pretty well though.
If you are close enough to be invited to her wedding surely she is close enough to you for you to question the whereabouts of your invitation.
I think it is very easy to make this “cool” for both of you by prefacing your question with words to the effect that you understand how stressful the lead up to a wedding can be and when all your mutual friends mentioned that their invites had arrived you were sure your had probably been mislaid in the post.
Now if she hasn’t invited you for whatever reason, even after asking for your address, then this will give her the opportunity to change her stance and get you a “replacement” invite very quickly.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained my dear.
BOYS CLUB
You girls are such wimps. If she is a good enough friend to invite you to her wedding why is she not a good enough friend for you to ask where your damn invite is?