Agony Aunt
Dear Aunty and boys,
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My husband and I married 25 years ago and the kids are now off our hands.
We’re still in love, and you would think everything should be perfect.
But it’s not.
I have recurring fantasies of just leaving everything behind, moving away and starting a new life all by myself.
I just want to be left alone.
I have no desire to find another man; I just want to be alone.
I’ve been finding excuses to travel solo simply because staying by myself in a hotel is the closest thing to fulfilling my fantasy.
Part of me also feels pretty guilty for wanting this because my husband is adamant that he wouldn’t want to be without me and in fairness he has been a great husband and father to our kids.
I’ve tried to talk him into getting separate bedrooms for years, but he refuses.
I am at a loss now but seriously disenchanted with my life. What should I do?
Agony Aunt says
THANKS for the letter.
You have not told me if you are both retired and hence living in each others pockets more than you are used to.
If that is the case I suggest that the first step if for you to find some “things” or activities to do that are separate from each other to allow some breathing space and personal growth.
Something that challenges your mind and gives you a sense of achievement and purpose.
If you are already having reasonable time apart and you still feel as you do, I suggest that you get some counselling.
I say this because you are very clear that you love your husband and you are not trying to run away from him but you do seem in my untrained eye to perhaps be suffering from depression.
I cannot see you personally and am not medically qualified to make these calls but you sound depressed or as you termed it, “disenchanted” with your life.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Find one of the local counsellors and pour it all out.
You may find that this is nothing more than a blip on your radar and you will be happy in no time at all.
Good luck and be kind to yourself.
Boys club
TYPICAL female.
Never happy with what you have.
Go on leave him and somewhere down the track you will see your quest for solitude is another term for loneliness.
Email: aunty.agony@outlook.com