Well, Valentine’s Day is now over and not a word, in fact, nothing at all. Not even a card or a flower let alone an engagement ring or proposal.

He acted all day as if it was just another day on the calendar. I went to the trouble and expense of a small gift and cooked a beautiful breakfast for him. Yes, I got a thank you and “how very sweet of me” but that was it.

I have never nagged or requested marriage from him, it was him who said we would marry in time. I feel cheated and foolish.

If I am not good enough to commit to, then I am surely not good enough to fulfil the role of long-term girlfriend. I do everything for him and expect very little in return.

I’m not high maintenance in any way. I just don’t know how to react to this. I feel like just crying all the time. I guess I feel empty and so sad. How could I have got this so wrong. Should I talk to him about this?

I think you should try to isolate the two events of Valentine’s Day 2015 and deal with them independently.

Firstly, the fact that he did little to nothing to celebrate the day. While some couples don’t recognise or celebrate the day it would seem that you two have a history of making something of the occasion.

From your report, he didn’t really give a damn and should really have been embarrassed that he did little else than acknowledge your effort.

Buzz! Bad move!

Unless you both agreed to ignore the day, his behaviour was plain shoddy.

Secondly, with regard to the engagement issue. I have to side slightly with the boys on this. Some guys just tell you what they think will keep you around, with no obvious consideration to what happens in the long term.

The “we will get married” line is oft used, then  years go by and the event has just never quite happened. Never “quite the right time” or “we don’t have the time to plan a wedding” or even worse, “we haven’t been getting on all that well lately” line.

Broken promises or expectations will sour any relationship I can assure you. I agree with you and understand your disappointment in him and probably questioning your value as his girlfriend.  

Surely, if you are good enough to be his partner for a number of years, and through thick and thin, you would expect that you were at some stage good enough to marry. Go figure.

After much thought, I really think you should ignore both issues, at least in the immediate term. It sounds like you may have become a bit of a doormat and he feels he can do and say – or not do and say – whatever he pleases.

Worse still, his behaviour suggest that he is pretty confident you will just stay around and accept whatever he dishes out. Sometimes being “low maintenance” is a distinct disadvantage for us girls.

Start taking your life back, don’t be quite so available or accommodating. I understand that you are hurt but foolish you are not.

Chin up and get on with your life. If he is too stupid to realise what he stands to lose then bigger fool him. 

We feel your frustration but what can we say? The dude was probably just saying the things he knew you wanted to hear.