I am by most standards, elderly.

I was for some years married and fathered two children.

In the fallout from my marriage breakdown, these two children decided they would no longer communicate with me, effectively disowning me.

I am sure it sound strange to consider children disowning their parents but that is what happened.

Almost 20 years has elapsed, no contact from them and no answers to any contact I have initiated.

Recently I thought of getting my affairs in order, death sometimes sneaks in quietly.

On reflection, I have no desire to leave these two children, now adults, any of the fruits of my hard work.

There are charities and other relatives who have stood by me and deserve assistance. I have long believed that inheritance is not a right.

Can you advise?

I am sorry to hear of the dreadful behaviour of your kids. Even sadder is that they have let the problem run for so many years.

I think you need legal advice. I too believe that inheritance is a privilege and not a right. Neither should it be an expectation but the law is strange sometimes and vindictive people can challenge wills.

To ensure that your last wishes are adhered to and that no messy legal fights can follow your passing, I really think legal advice to be the only answer.

I am glad to read that you have other relatives that have rendered you support over the years. I too agree that there are many good charities always looking for assistance.

If I could ask one tiny favour of you. Before you get your legal advice and complete your last will and testament I ask that you make one last attempt to re-establish communication with your two adult kids.

Maybe nothing will come of it but you will rest in your heart knowing you tried right up until the last. 

Hope this column finds you well and looking forward to a restive but joyful Christmas.

Do what you like mate. It is your money.

We believe that kids whether grown or growing should be grateful and stop expecting to be set up for life. Parasites.

* If you have a question for Agony Aunt, email auntyagony@outlook.com